Text Messages Jokes (To Send a Girl You Like)

Text Message Jokes

woman sending text message jokesOne of the best things that you can do to get better with girls is get yourself a nice sense of humor. A lot of material glosses over this fact, instead talking about how you’re going to break rapport with someone and do all these magical things to win them over when you could instead be using humor and getting essentially the same results or better. That is not to say that you should turn into some kind of dancing monkey, but as they say in ‘Sex in the City’, sometimes girls want to be with the guys that make them laugh. If you don’t have a bit of humor in your courting process, pick-ups, sarges, whatever you want to call them – you’re doing it wrong and could be doing it much, much better. So here are some fun text message jokes to send someone whenever you want to get a little bit of emotional investment out of them.

Some of my favorite text message jokes

1.  Why did Mickey break up with Minnie? Because Minnie was fucking Goofy.

I like this one. Not only is it a goofy joke to send, a funny text message joke, you could very, very easily move from talking about how stupid the jokes you send to people are to talking about sexual escalation – cartoon characters going at it, who was the hottest cartoon character, all these things are conversations that’ll spike her emotional interest and get you gossiping together – cementing your bond and making you that much closer to your goal of getting her to like you.

2. What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe him off and apologize.

This is a gross one. Sometimes people don’t get it, and you can quickly turn that conversation in the direction of sexual escalation as well. Some people get it, and love it – as girls are more partial to sex and dick jokes than a lot of other people. More partial than you think. So don’t be afraid of sending them dirty jokes. Which’ll be important for the next few items on the list.

3.  How does Lady Gaga like her meat? RAH-RAH-RAH-AH-AW.

Most girls like Lady Gaga. MOST girls. Granted, this might not be the most timely of punchlines, but for the next few years that Lady Gaga is relevant, it might be of some use to you to milk this before she’s relegated back to an apartment in New York, releasing increasingly preachy message albums that sell incredibly well, but are far too annoying. If you can communicate sounds via text, too, you’re golden.

4. When does Sean Connery like to hit his balls? Tennish.

Everybody has done a terrible Sean Connery impression. This makes fun of terrible Sean Connery impressions – the likes of which reportedly drove him off the set of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Also, if she visualizes Sean Connery hitting his balls, she may become rabid with desire. Maybe? Not really. It’s more of a goofy image.

5. What does Snoop Dogg put on his whites? Bleeeea-tch.

If she likes gangsta rap or knows the cultural icon that Snoop Dizzle is, she might get a good laugh out of it. If you have to explain who Snoop Dogg is, you should run far, far away, and not text that girl ever again. You can do better than date a person who has no idea about musical culture for the last twenty years or so.

6.  What’s Snoop Dogg’s favorite kind of weather? Drizzle.

Another Snoop Dogg joke. You can’t hate the man. He’s intrinsically hilarious and given his intrinsically hilarious state, you can’t help but transfer that through jokes about the man. Again, if she’s not privy to knowing about how Snoop Dogg talks, there’s an easy solution to that. Invite her over to watch Snoop Dogg music videos on YouTube. On your computer. Then you have a date, you can educate her, all because she didn’t get your stupid jokes.

7. Haha, I made you look at your phone.

This one is probably the most infantile, but it’ll occasionally get a great response. If it doesn’t get a great response, know that we warned you that it was probably the most infantile. Again, you’ve been warned. Know which people to use infantile humor with, and which people you should use high-brow humor with. Basically, if you don’t know your audience, it’s going to make it much harder to communicate with them in a hilarious way.

8.  Why can’t Smokey the Bear’s wife get pregnant? Because when she’s in heat, he beats her with a shovel.

Hey — violence against lovers. Not necessarily the best thing to mention when texting somebody you like, but it usually gets a laugh regardless.

As you can see, any joke that’s structures with a short two-lines is perfect to send via text message. Text message jokes will spike any person’s mood, and it’s a great way to communicate with people you like.  Hope you enjoyed these funny text messages.

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